I Saw God

When Israel came out of Egypt, the house of Jacob from a people of foreign tongue, Judah became God’s sanctuary, Israel his dominion – Psalm 114:1-2

Yesterday I think I saw God… 

My family and I were invited to meet with one of the house churches that lives, meets and seeks to incarnate Christ in a rather poor area of Guadalajara.  Yesterday they gathered at Toñito’s house.  Toñito has had a difficult life.  He is the 3^rd of seven children.  He has severe physical deformities and is confined to a wheel chair.  Though he turned 18 yesterday, he looks like a 10-year old.  The doctors do not expect him to live much longer.  His family struggles to make it…to understand it.   

But yesterday I think I saw God at his house… 

When we arrived at his house, we were ushered to an open area out back.  25 or 30 people were sitting around a small table and a huge pot with a fire under it.  On the table were the bread and the grape juice for the Lord’s Supper.  In the pot were several chickens and Pozole, a delicious Mexican soup.  For the next few hours, there was a fiesta:  a “potluck” of shared songs, scripture, stories of God, good conversation, pozole, birthday cake, jokes and laughing…lots of laughing.  I was struck by the diversity of people:  Jesus followers, seekers, curious people…I was struck that almost everyone came from difficult pasts:  addictions, abuse, rejection, sickness, marginalization, oppression…yet yesterday there was belonging, relationship, plenty, laughing.   

Yesterday, I think I saw God at Toñito’s house.  I think Toñito saw God too…

Parenting for Vibrant Faith in the Next Generation

A couple of nights ago I spent a few hours talking with my wife and another couple—we both have adolescent children.  Both couples have been pretty serious about following Jesus during the entire life of our children.  Both of us have been involved missionally and with the planting of new churches in Mexico during the entire life of our children.  Parenting and the spiritual formation of our children has been a “front burner” conversation between us for many years. 

Yet, now it feels like we are entering new territory—it feels like we are getting to the stage (at least closer) where we will begin to see the result of the formation and parenting.  We’re not done by any means—but we are on down the road with the formation.  We have good kids!  Yet, sometimes we are sobered by the world in which we live…by the challenges to faith and faithfulness that stand before us all…by the imagination of what the world will be like for the next generations.  We know countless people around us who are living very difficult times with their children who are now adolescents or young adults.  Many of these difficult situations are clearly the result of families who pretty obviously built their “houses” on the sand.  Though the present reality many are facing is painful, it really shouldn’t be surprising.  Yet, we also know of many parents who have worked hard and invested much into the formation of their children—and are still going through very difficult times.   

As we talked about the challenges facing our children and us as they begin the transition into adulthood, a few things came out of the talk.  Though there are so many things that we cannot anticipate or control, and so many good parenting ideas, it does seem that three things were important from our point of view: 

1. We need to make sure our children have a working knowledge of the Christian faith.  We need to do our part so they can articulate what we believe as followers of Jesus Christ.  This needs to make sense to them.  It can’t seem to them as a dry or dead faith of past generations but instead must make sense as a way of looking at the world and living in it that is credible and congruent for them and their generation.  They will surely be confronted with other options and exposed to those who will make the argument that these options make sense.  It seems to me that we can’t stop this from happening.  However, we must make sure they get the Christian Story. 
2. We need to do everything possible to expose our children to multiple models of vibrant, healthy Christianity lived out.  Our children need to know people (and communities of faith) who day in and day out live the Story; they need to know people (and communities of people) who take following Jesus seriously and who show the fruit of that following in their life.  Of course, first the responsibility of modeling falls on us as parents.  We must be serious that talk and walk are connected.  But I also want my kids to be exposed to others who flesh out the Jesus Story a little differently.  I love my kids to be around followers of Jesus who are closer to their own age and who can serve as healthy models. 
3. We also need to provide conversation and coaching for our adolescents as they work through their faith and connect the dots.  As coaches for our children, we have to allow them to voice questions, doubts and conflicts they may have with the bible and with the Christian faith.  We have to create an environment where this is acceptable.  If not, sooner or later they’ll find their own place to do this.  This coaching and conversation seems essential for our children to live out their own faith.   

This makes sense to me as I think of my children and their ongoing formation as followers of Jesus.  I’m also thinking that this is true not only for the parenting of our children, but also for the “parenting” of any growing Christian—ourselves and others.  The challenge for me is consistently living into it!

Staying Saved (part 3)

I continue to reflect on my recent experience with M—trying to learn about the battle we are in and how we must protect ourselves and one another.    

As an addict, M has always insisted that his relationship with other addicts is a key element in his ongoing recovery.  For him, that was fleshed out in his participation in the “4^th and 5^th Step Group.”  This is where he initially found sobriety and began a more focused search for God in his life.  It seems that this group (like many 12-step groups) acknowledges the role of a Supreme Being.  This group seems to be more explicit in their acknowledgment that the Supreme Being is the God of the Bible.  Yet, the group exists for recovery from addictions.  It is still recovery-centered and not mainly God/Christ centered.  Anyway… 

A couple of years back, in the context of his recovery and experience with his group, M began a serious search for God…reading his Bible regularly…praying…seeking answers.  During this time, God brought our paths together.  My family and I began helping M to grow as a disciple of Jesus Christ.  We helped he and his family envision simple discipleship and the formation of a Christ community based in their home and family.  We confirmed him in his desire to remain connected to his recovery group…to continue to see this as a key element of his community…perhaps a place where he can continue to minister incarnationally to others with a similar past.  This seemed to work for him. 

However, with time, M began to be drawn to a group within the larger recovery group.  This smaller group (5-7 of them) shared a desire to follow Jesus, study the Bible together, etc.  I’m not sure all that happened but this smaller group became increasingly desirous of forming a more “Christ-centered” recovery group.  They were bothered by some of the practices of the larger group.  There were some strong personalities in this group and there may have also been some underlying conflicts that contributed to all of this.  Anyway, they began meeting separately—met two or three times weekly to discuss their ongoing recovery and once each week for a more specific time of Bible study.  One of their primary goals was to rethink the monthly Experiencia (outreach event) that the 4^th and 5^th Step groups do.  They wanted to continue doing this…but do it in a more Christ-centered way.  This conversation and shift began back in January.   

I live a couple of hours away and was listening in on the conversation, traveling out to be with M’s family a time or two each month—mainly providing spiritual support and coaching for this simple faith community in formation.  I interpreted this new, Christ-centered recovery group as perhaps a next step development in the life of the growing church—I listened to M talk of this and encouraged him and prayed for he and his companions.  I had some contact with the others, but mainly focused my attention on M and his family.   

Anyway…the months passed without M and his new group actually having a monthly outreach Experiencia.  Every month they were studying and working on it…but they never felt “prepared” enough to have it.  “Maybe next month” they would say.  One of M’s friends, F had taken a leading role in this new group.  F has a Pastor friend from a local Christian church.  They just were not prepared enough yet to do the outreaches F believed.  The group followed his lead.   

I could tell M was concerned about this.  He didn’t understand why the group didn’t feel “prepared” enough to go ahead and experiment with the events.  But he kept submitting to the group decision.  I had a bad feeling about the new recovery group’s failure to not involve themselves in the “mission” that had been so key to their recovery.  I voiced that to M.  He agreed but the months continued to pass.   

In June, M began to show signs of unhealthiness.  He had further conflict with one of the key members of the group.  Soon he drank.   

As I reflect on this, I am struck by the relationship between our involvement in “mission” and our ongoing spiritual well-being.  Helping others is key for our “recovery.”  If we stop telling our story and helping others enter into the story then the story tends to get fuzzy and we forget…and we stop living it.   

I’m also struck by a common lie of the Enemy:  You aren’t quite ready to help others.  You aren’t prepared enough.  Take another class.  Read another book.  Get another degree.  Then you’ll know enough to help others.   

One of the main ways we prepare to help others is by helping others…learning as we go.  Noticing what we are learning…trying to do it better next time.   

I guess this is what I’m trying to do here!  

Staying Saved (part 2)

A few days back I was sitting with my friend M.  As we were praying together and sharing recent struggles and victories, the conversation moved to the last few months and M’s recaida into drugs and alcohol—to his recent (5 weeks ago) escape again into the world of the living.   

When asked to reflect on all of this, M is quick to insist that the responsibility was his…that no one else is to blame.  He speaks easily and in a balanced way about his understanding of the spiritual battle going on between the Kingdom of God and the dominion of Satan, his full acceptance of his own responsibility and the consequences of his choices, and the reality that he has a disease called alcoholism.  He is transparent about terrible experiences that he had earlier in his life—yet he doesn’t have a “victim” mentality.  His gratitude to God and his resolve to live soberly are obvious.   

Yet, M and his wife are working on it.  They want to learn from this experience—we all do.  M’s reflection on his experience with his recovery group seems important in all of this.   

As an addict, M has been in and out of dozens of groups over the past couple of decades.  Though the personalities and specifics vary, all of these groups work through the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.  M didn’t get really serious about this until 2 or 3 years ago.  Though he believes God was the real power, M found the road to sobriety through a group that emphasizes the 4^th and 5^th Steps—they work all the steps but they call themselves, “Groups of 4^th and 5^th Steps.”  One of their distinctive characteristics is a commitment to have regular (usually monthly) retreat experiences.  At these weekend experiencias newcomers (alcoholics, addicts, and some codependents) are guided through a rigorous treatment of the 4^th and 5^th steps by the experienced members of the group.  In the 4^th step they go through an extensive inventory of their past discovering the roots of their addictions.  In the 5^th step they share their discovery with one of the experienced members who then serves as their sponsor.  This monthly event serves as the door for newcomers looking for sobriety.  It serves as the tangible “mission outreach” of the group.  It also allows each addict to stay connected to their own recovery by sharing testimony and helping to facilitate the recovery of others.   Everyone participates.  M and his wife have been very involved in the experiencias over the past few years—very important for their ongoing recovery.   

However, while this group and their “mission experience” was so key to M’s initial and ongoing recovery, it seems to have also played into his fall back into drugs and alcohol.   What do I mean? 

In their discovery of really good principles and methods for helping one another, the “4^th and 5^th Step” groups developed a serious case of elitism and exclusivity.  I sensed this from early on in my experience with them—M has talked about it a lot lately.  They take great pride in their way of doing the program.  There is a lot of mystery here—you can’t really know what happens until you go as a newcomer.  Then you have to promise not to tell details to outsiders.  This breeds a sense of secrecy and exclusivism into the DNA of the group.  The elitism is also evident in the groups’ stance towards other “12 Steps” groups.  Any other group is 2^nd rate and both subtly and publicly are criticized.  Again, this bothered me early on as I began to have contact with this group—but I’m not an alcoholic and the group seemed to be so important to my brother M.   

Ultimately, the elitist attitude of the group contributed to M’s fall (and come to find out many, many others over the years).  Because M had bought into the belief that only “4^th and 5^th Step” groups were acceptable for good recovery, any other recovery group (AA, 12-Step, etc.) was not an option.  Satan worked to cause problems relationally and philosophically between M and some of the other members of the group.  M became increasingly uncomfortable there.  But, because of the subtle belief that no other recovery group could help him (because they were flawed philosophically and/or methodologically), he dropped out of all recovery groups.  Satan had him.  He soon took a drink.   

In the last few weeks, M has visited many other recovery groups.  He has found many who tell the same story as his…that the elitist group ultimately contributed to unhealthy beliefs and a fall from sobriety.   

Somehow this sounds familiar to me.  Exclusive, legalistic beliefs and methods have negative long-term effects on sincere and usually well-intentioned people.  We get caught without even knowing it.   

Could this be a truth even outside the world of recovery groups?!!!

Staying Saved

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my friend M.  He’s had an incredibly hard life—alcohol, drugs, violence, etc.  He says he started drinking at 12…considers that he was an alcoholic a few years later.  Of course his relationships with his wife and their 5 kids have been marked by the addictions.  He came to know Christ some time ago and began to seriously follow Jesus a little over two years ago.  He is very open about all of this.  A simple church has been forming in the last couple of years around M. and his family.  They have connections to hundreds (at least) of people in and around their city.  He and his wife have especially mixed with recovery groups in these years—they have ministered among other addicts and the codependents around them.  God has used them in powerful ways! 

M began drinking again almost 4 months ago.  He was immediately enslaved again.  He went from alcohol to serious drugs within days—going to depths he had not previously experienced.  It has been horrible for all of them—their own hell.   

And yet, AGAIN God graced M and his family with salvation.  Against all odds, he has AGAIN been delivered from the claws of the evil one.   The relief and thankfulness they all feel—we all feel—is enormous.  I am amazed at God’s power in this.  We praise God.  Mostly—or at least firstly—we rest in the grace.   

Yet…I want to know and understand better what happened.  What can M’s experience reveal to us and teach us about the battle in which we live?  What were the Enemy’s strategies to draw us back into the slavery?  How are we vulnerable still?  What can we do to better look out for ourselves and for one another?   

This has my attention.    

Acompañar

This past May 25-27, we spent a great weekend with Hugo and Sandra Monroy. Originally from Columbia, this couple now lives and ministers in New York City. Out of their experience and ministry to trauma victims—refugees, victims of disasters, war zones, abuse, etc.—they have developed an equipping ministry for leaders and workers who are also ministering among those who have experienced high levels of trauma and brokenness.

The time was great for a small group of 25 or so of us—Mexican leaders and missionaries from Guadalajara, La Piedad and Mexico City! It was a great time of fellowship and equipping—hopefully an important time to be drawn more deeply into mission among hurting people.

Hugo and Sandra kept using the word acompañar—to accompany, to join, to walk along with. I like the reminder of my calling as a follower of Jesus—a follower of the One who became flesh and joins us on our journey…even when the journey is very difficult, lonely, confusing…

I like the reminder that I am not expected to fix everyone’s problems. I’m not expected to provide all the solutions, the explanations, the answers. Acompañar.

We just need someone to walk along with us. At least it’s a starting place…until the One who is the Answer points the way.

The Hole in My Sidewalk

A friend recently reminded me that the evil one often uses the same strategies over and over again–he’s really not that creative, just consistent.

First he distracts us. Next he discourages us. Finally he disables us. Often times in that order if we fall for it.

I know this…head knowledge and experienced knowledge!

Yet, I think one of the main “holes” in my sidewalk are distractions. I see them there in the sidewalk. I know they are there. But I fall in anyway. I usually get out pretty quickly–I guess that means I’m in the 3rd chapter of the story!

I’m ready to move on…again!!!

There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk

THERE’S A HOLE IN MY SIDEWALK
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
By Portia Nelson

Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost…. I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit … but, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter Five
I walk down another street.

International Internet Day

Today is International Internet Day.  Supposedly there are over 20 million internet users in Mexico…this number has increased dramatically (more than doubled) in the last 3 years.  With just over 100 million people living in Mexico that means that 1 in 5 Mexicans are connected in this way.  I guess some of these 20 million users may be the same person with multiple usernames.  Anyway…there are alot of Mexicans connected to the internet…and the number is growing.

Its not what most people envision when they think of Mexico.  Burros, tortillas, sombreros, tacos, tequila, mariachi music, siesta…internet.  I don’t think so. 

I’m reminded that Mexico has changed and continues to be on the fast track for change.  What will the “new” Mexico be?  The lists are long of both the good and the bad that comes from this and other sources of change.  But its still happening…

What does it mean? 

I’m not even sure sometimes what the questions are…much less the answers. 

Mexicans–Ties That Bind

Two or three weeks back I listened to an interview with researcher Dan Lund who lives and works in Mexico City.  He has recently done research on Mexicans and what are the common ties that hold Mexicans together–whether in Mexico or living abroad.  The gist of his research question was:  “What are you most proud of as a Mexican?” 

Surprisingly, instead of turning up symbols of the Church or of patriotism, he said he discovered a unique configuration of family, food and place.  How does it work? 

Family.  Mexicans are extremely family oriented.  They love getting together in family groups…often extended family.  Typically the group comes together around a meal…around the table…around the grill…sometimes its a birthday party or some holiday…sometimes its just the weekend.  Food.  Mexicans are proud of their food…and Mexican food is fabulous–tacos, carne asada, mole, pozole, barbacoa, birria, tamales…  And the thing is that Mexicans love to cook and love to eat.  What’s more the food is the conversation.  Each dish has a history and varies from region to region.  Mexicans can talk for hours about the food.  Lund says the metaphor for Mexico is table.  Place.  To be a Mexican is to be from a specific place.  Mexicans feel a strong tie to some specific place…some city or pueblito.  Even when you don’t presently live there, eres de alli.  You are proud of where you are from.  Lund says that the money sent back to Mexico by Mexicans living in the U.S. is not just about the money…but about the connection to a place…it is a social relationship. 

So what does all of this mean?  What does it say to those who want to understand and connect with Mexicans (in Mexico or in the U.S.)?

I think about Jesus and the way table was so important to him, to his ministry…so important in the Kingdom message he lived and proclaimed. 

I think about the potential blessing of eating alot of good Mexican food!