Parenting for Vibrant Faith in the Next Generation

A couple of nights ago I spent a few hours talking with my wife and another couple—we both have adolescent children.  Both couples have been pretty serious about following Jesus during the entire life of our children.  Both of us have been involved missionally and with the planting of new churches in Mexico during the entire life of our children.  Parenting and the spiritual formation of our children has been a “front burner” conversation between us for many years. 

Yet, now it feels like we are entering new territory—it feels like we are getting to the stage (at least closer) where we will begin to see the result of the formation and parenting.  We’re not done by any means—but we are on down the road with the formation.  We have good kids!  Yet, sometimes we are sobered by the world in which we live…by the challenges to faith and faithfulness that stand before us all…by the imagination of what the world will be like for the next generations.  We know countless people around us who are living very difficult times with their children who are now adolescents or young adults.  Many of these difficult situations are clearly the result of families who pretty obviously built their “houses” on the sand.  Though the present reality many are facing is painful, it really shouldn’t be surprising.  Yet, we also know of many parents who have worked hard and invested much into the formation of their children—and are still going through very difficult times.   

As we talked about the challenges facing our children and us as they begin the transition into adulthood, a few things came out of the talk.  Though there are so many things that we cannot anticipate or control, and so many good parenting ideas, it does seem that three things were important from our point of view: 

1. We need to make sure our children have a working knowledge of the Christian faith.  We need to do our part so they can articulate what we believe as followers of Jesus Christ.  This needs to make sense to them.  It can’t seem to them as a dry or dead faith of past generations but instead must make sense as a way of looking at the world and living in it that is credible and congruent for them and their generation.  They will surely be confronted with other options and exposed to those who will make the argument that these options make sense.  It seems to me that we can’t stop this from happening.  However, we must make sure they get the Christian Story. 
2. We need to do everything possible to expose our children to multiple models of vibrant, healthy Christianity lived out.  Our children need to know people (and communities of faith) who day in and day out live the Story; they need to know people (and communities of people) who take following Jesus seriously and who show the fruit of that following in their life.  Of course, first the responsibility of modeling falls on us as parents.  We must be serious that talk and walk are connected.  But I also want my kids to be exposed to others who flesh out the Jesus Story a little differently.  I love my kids to be around followers of Jesus who are closer to their own age and who can serve as healthy models. 
3. We also need to provide conversation and coaching for our adolescents as they work through their faith and connect the dots.  As coaches for our children, we have to allow them to voice questions, doubts and conflicts they may have with the bible and with the Christian faith.  We have to create an environment where this is acceptable.  If not, sooner or later they’ll find their own place to do this.  This coaching and conversation seems essential for our children to live out their own faith.   

This makes sense to me as I think of my children and their ongoing formation as followers of Jesus.  I’m also thinking that this is true not only for the parenting of our children, but also for the “parenting” of any growing Christian—ourselves and others.  The challenge for me is consistently living into it!